How to Know a Person- Seeing Clearly 9.21.25
Sermon Recap
This week we explored what it means to see clearly. In Matthew 7, Jesus warns against judgment, but not in the way people often use that verse. He isn’t telling us to stop making wise decisions. Instead, the word “judge” here means reducing someone’s whole identity down to one action or trait. That’s what judgment does: it takes a single detail and makes it someone’s entire story.
Our high school students put it well: there’s a big difference between knowing about someone and actually knowing them. Knowing about someone means grabbing onto one mistake or habit and assuming you’ve got them figured out. Actually knowing someone takes curiosity, humility, and patience. That’s the heart of what Jesus was saying about the “plank” and the “speck”—we can’t see others clearly when our own perspective is distorted by assumptions, double standards, or unacknowledged flaws.
At the core of Matthew 7 is what you might call the principle of reciprocity: the measure you use will often circle back to you. If we bring humility, curiosity, and kindness into our relationships, they tend to grow. If we’re stingy with grace, we often end up surrounded by stinginess too. Jesus reminds us that it starts with us.
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Go a Little Deeper – Matthew 7:1–5; Colossians 3:12–14
Howard Thurman wrote in Jesus and the Disinherited that one of the most radical acts of love is to truly see another person, especially someone different from us. Jesus’ warning against judgment is exactly about this: judgment shrinks people down to labels, while love insists on seeing the whole person. His exaggerated image of the plank and the speck shows how distorted and even laughable it is when we critique others without first dealing with ourselves.
Brian Zahnd once said, “The seeds we sow into the lives of others eventually become the fruit we have to eat.” That echoes Jesus’ teaching that “the measure you use will be measured to you.” What we put into the relational soil—criticism or kindness, suspicion or grace—tends to circle back to us.
We also spent time in Colossians 3:12–14, where Paul calls us to “clothe” ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Walter Brueggemann notes that this is temple language—it’s the language of worship. For Paul, everyday relationships are not secondary to faith; they are the liturgy of the church. How we treat one another is where God’s presence is revealed. Colossians takes Jesus’ teaching a
step further: not only do we resist judgment, but we also actively put on the character of Christ so our communities become places of grace and renewal.
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Discussion Questions
1. Which part of Jesus’ image in Matthew 7:1–5 stands out to you most—the plank, the speck, or the warning not to judge? Why?
2. Jesus warns against reducing others to a single detail. What are some ways we do this today—in our families, friendships, or culture?
3. When have you experienced being judged by one detail or mistake? How did it feel?
4. The students described the difference between knowing about someone and actually knowing them. How do you see that difference playing out in your own relationships?
5. Which of the three “new lenses” (humility, curiosity, kindness) comes most naturally to you? Which one is most challenging?
6. How might practicing humility, curiosity, and kindness change the way you see someone close to you this week?
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Practice to Try
Pray the Colossians 3 prayer each day this week:
God, today I remember that I am chosen, holy, and dearly loved by you. Clothe me with compassion. Clothe me with kindness. Clothe me with humility. Clothe me with gentleness. Clothe me with patience.
Help me bear with others in love. Teach me to forgive as you have forgiven me. And over all these virtues, Lord, cover me with love, which binds everything together in perfect unity.
Amen.
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Closing Prayer
God of kindness and mercy, you see us fully and love us completely.
Clothe us with humility, curiosity, and kindness, so that we might see others as clearly as you see us. Make our lives a witness to your love. Amen.
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