How To Know A Person - Repairing Relationships 10.12.25
Deeper Dive
How To Know a Person – Repairing Relationships
Sermon Recap
This week’s message explored what happens after a relationship has been broken. How do we move toward repair when trust has been fractured, or when we’ve been the one who caused the hurt?
In Genesis 33, we witness one of the most powerful moments of reconciliation in Scripture — the reunion of Jacob and Esau. After years of deception, distance, and fear, Jacob courageously returns home, ready to face the brother he wronged. He bows low seven times before Esau — an act of humility, repentance, and risk.
But before Jacob can say a word, Esau runs to him, embraces him, and weeps. Grace rushes in before apology can even form. And in that moment, Jacob sees something divine:
“To see your face is like seeing the face of God.” (Genesis 33:10)
Reconciliation doesn’t always mean everything goes back to how it was. It means we’ve done our part — we’ve risked love again, we’ve laid down our weapons, and we’ve left no regrets.
When we forgive and when we allow ourselves to be forgiven, we catch a glimpse of God’s own face.
---Go a Little Deeper
Jacob’s Wrestling and Esau’s Embrace
Just before this scene, Jacob wrestles with God at the Jabbok River (Genesis 32). He limps away with a blessing and a new name, Israel — meaning “one who struggles with God.” That encounter prepared Jacob for this one. Before he could face his brother, he had to face himself and God.
In Genesis 33, the same Hebrew word for “face” (panim) is used repeatedly. Jacob names the place of wrestling Peniel, meaning “the face of God.” Then he tells Esau, “To see your face is like seeing the face of God.” The storyteller wants us to see the connection: when we forgive or are forgiven, it’s not just human reconciliation—it’s divine revelation.
Humility and Risk Jacob’s sevenfold bow reflects both repentance and vulnerability. In ancient Near Eastern custom, bowing seven times was an act of complete submission. He’s saying, “I
come in peace. I’m not here to fight.” In doing so, Jacob risks rejection — but faith requires risk. As one rabbi put it, “You cannot see the face of God from a safe distance.”
Theology of Forgiveness Forgiveness doesn’t ignore justice; it transforms it. Esau’s embrace doesn’t erase Jacob’s deceit, but it redefines the relationship. The story reminds us that reconciliation is a miracle of grace — not human achievement. It happens when humility meets mercy.
---
Discussion Questions
1. When you think about the story of Jacob and Esau, which brother do you identify with more — the one seeking forgiveness or the one offering it?
2. What fears or risks do you face when considering repairing a broken relationship?
3. Jacob says, “To see your face is like seeing the face of God.” Have you ever experienced forgiveness—given or received—in a way that revealed something divine?
4. Sometimes reconciliation isn’t possible. How might living with “no regrets” still bring freedom or healing?
5. What practices (like prayer, confession, counseling, or conversation) help prepare your heart for reconciliation?
---
Practice to Try
The Prayer of Release This week, take five minutes to sit quietly and hold in your mind someone you’ve struggled to forgive—or whose forgiveness you need. With open hands, pray:
“God of mercy, help me to release what I cannot control. Where there is bitterness, plant peace. Where there is shame, plant grace. Where there is fear, plant courage. Help me to see Your face in theirs.”
If God prompts you toward a conversation or act of reconciliation, ask for the courage to take one small step.
---
Closing Prayer
Gracious God, You are the One who meets us on the road back home. When we risk love again, meet us there. When we bow in humility, lift us up with grace. Teach us to see Your face in those we’ve wronged and in those who have wronged us. Make us ministers of reconciliation, that the world may know what forgiveness looks like. Amen.