How To Know A Person - Binding and Loosing 10.19.25
How To Know a Person – Binding and Loosing
Sermon Recap
In this final week of How to Know a Person, we explored Jesus’ teaching about conflict and reconciliation in Matthew 18. Jesus shows us how to handle the friction that inevitably arises in relationships—with gentleness, humility, and love.
He begins, “If your brother or sister sins…” reminding us to stay curious rather than jump to conclusions. We approach others not as enemies, but as family. Conflict doesn’t have to destroy relationships—it can deepen them when handled well.
Jesus’ words about binding and loosing call us to see reconciliation as sacred work. When we engage conflict with humility and love, heaven and earth come a little closer. The way we handle relationships isn’t just about keeping the peace—it’s how we make the Kingdom visible.
Go a Little Deeper
What Jesus Meant by “Binding and Loosing”
In Jesus’ day, “binding and loosing” was a rabbinic phrase referring to how teachers interpreted and applied Scripture—deciding what was permitted or forbidden under the Law. Jesus reorients that authority toward relationships. The work of “binding and loosing” isn’t just about interpreting rules—it’s about discerning how love and truth apply in the messy realities of human connection.
When we wrestle through conflict together in the Spirit of Christ, we’re doing holy work. Heaven backs up what is done in love and truth. In other words, when reconciliation happens, it’s not just emotional repair—it’s participation in God’s redemptive work.
The Progression of Matthew 18
1. Go privately. Begin one-on-one, not through gossip or triangulation.
2. Bring wise voices. Invite trusted people who seek peace, not sides.
3. Involve the community. Let the church help restore—not punish.
4. Keep the door open. Even when boundaries are needed, we treat others as Jesus treated tax collectors and sinners—with compassion and grace.
Heaven on Earth
Verse 20—“Where two or three gather in my name, I am there”—isn’t about worship attendance; it’s about the presence of Christ in reconciliation. When we face hard things together, when we forgive, when we stay at the table instead of walking away, heaven shows up there.
Discussion Questions
1. Why do you think Jesus starts this teaching with the word “if” instead of “when”?
2. What happens to our relationships when we approach conflict with curiosity instead of accusation?
3. How can remembering that someone is a “brother or sister” change the tone of a difficult conversation?
4. Have you ever seen gossip damage trust—either in a friendship, a workplace, or the church? What did you learn from that?
5. What do you think Jesus means when He says, “Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven”?
6. Where might God be inviting you to do some “binding and loosing” work in your relationships right now?
Practice to Try
Practice a Gentle Approach: Think of one relationship that feels tense or strained. Instead of avoiding it or venting to someone else, write down what a “gentle approach” might look like:
· Take responsibility for your part.
· Speak from your feelings, not accusations.
· Stay specific and curious.
Pray for the courage to reach out. Even a small step toward understanding can be holy ground.---
Closing Prayer
Gracious God, Thank You for meeting us in the complicated places of our relationships. Teach us to be gentle, humble, and courageous—to seek understanding before judgment, to remember that every person is more than their worst moment. As we do the slow work of forgiveness and reconciliation, let heaven break through—in our hearts, our homes, and our church. Amen.